Thursday, 25 October 2012

100 Random Objects From the G+ Hivemind

i saw a post put up on the G+ last night when i was about to go to bed, but i didnt really think anything off it (apart from "hey there is some cool ideas for a unknown armies game in here) so i did what i do most nights and went to sleep. i woke up and went to work and saw that the same post had a prominent place on my mobile phones feed, had a look again and saw that some other people had added a few things so i decided to get in on it. then this happend

100 Random Objects From the G+ Hivemind

Contributions by:
James Aulds
Trent B
Reece Carter
Trey Causey
Jeremy Duncan
Jez Gordon
Paolo Greco
Richard Guy
Jason Kielbasa
Joey Lindsey
Cole Long
Michael Moscrip
Zak Smith

1.  a brass top that cuts your finger when you spin it

2. A domino mask made of buff-colored kidskin

3. 4 strings of heavy glass beads in an old boot

4. A birthday present for the youngest daughter of Tarantula

5. A rosewood maraca filled with teeth

6. The ugliest hat that will be worn this morning.

7. A wax-stoppered vial containing the dying breath of a notorious murderer, dissolved in

8. A stereoscope that stirs fear to touch--and few dare peer into.

9. A yellow wooden box with a hole to stick your hand in, which is lined with velvet and rusty

10. A Chinese puzzle ball which, once taken apart, can never be put back together again

11. a string bag full of counter-lemons.

12. the Hellraiser box, already open. You can't seem to be able to close it.

13. A wedding dress, previously worn only once. When tried on, the walls of the room weep
blood and the wearer disappears, but echoes of their voice remain.

14. What appears to be an elephant goad, but twice the length and width of any you've seen. Weighs about 25 lbs.

15. d12 worn copper coins depicting a monarch in full maturity that you know to have been strangled in their crib long before they could have assumed the throne.

16. A flail inlaid with precious stones, with little rubies set at regular intervals along the many thin silver chains depending from the handle.

17. An icon in the form of a foldable triptych, about the size of a deck of playing cards. There is a small hole through each panel where the saint's face should be.
If you fold the triptych backwards the three holes line up. In this arrangement the holes act as a powerful attractor for bullets.

18. A cylindrical wooden box that opens into a standing velvet-lined display case for false noses

19. A cylindrical wooden box that opens into a standing velvet-lined display case for real noses

20. a mushroom, Aureola Agaric. Whoever eats it might develop a severe case of extra nipples.

21. A white glove of expensive silk with the bones of a hand inside, but no flesh...found resting on your chest when you wake.

22.  a single rose in a vase that crumbles to dust in the sunlight but reforms in moonlight

23.  A small but extremely heavy brass paperweight.

24.  A pair of shoes which cause any floor surface to act as an annoyingly over-smart kind of touchpad. Supposedly useful features surprise you constantly as you walk (e.g. if you skid to a stop with both feet at once then the whole world scrolls past you, or if you draw them together sharply then suddenly you're in some other space where you have a choice between the ordinary world you were previously enjoying and a number of popular or fashionable dream worlds).

25.  A one-way ticket to Corsica. 

26.  A two-way brickbat from Corsica.

27. A fist-sized wooden statue of a frog on a mound of leaves. The bottom is a natural knothole.

28. A 3 inch pewter wizard with a cut glass crystal ball in a basin at his feet.

29. A stone gargoyle ear.

30. 24 perfectly shaped nail clippings.

31. A flat stone disc, 4" wide and one quarter inch thick, the top carved with a rose.

32. A stick of charcoal wrapped in parchment.

33. discs of copper, silver and gold which are all the same size and each weigh exactly one
tenth of a pound.

34. The recipe for the sticky stuff on post-it notes

35. A small vial of virgin tears

36. A vial of fairy dust

37. A drawing of 12 pillars on a parchment made from human skin. The pillars represent the leaders of a city, and the amount of decay and debris falling from each pillar represent how corrupt and evil they are.

38. A old revolver with strange runes engraved into it. When it's shot the bullet does no damage, but any damage the weilder of the pistol takes is transferred to the target. This lasts for one hour per empty chamber of the pistol

39. A key that opens nothing

40. An owl pellet the size of a large boulder, containing d3 human skeletons (when assembled) and d4 other objects on this list.

41. A "racy" novelty postcard from a resort on the shores of Lake Hali.

42. A contract for someone soul, but it's written in the language of daemons

43. A perfectly round stone (small boulder), when this is in someone's possession any survival
checks to find food (not animals) in the wilderness is significantly harder

44.  A well worn swiss army knife; whenever a tool is opened it cannot be closed again

45.  A contact for someone's soul - if you can find the other contact you can administer a soul shock to them or possibly draw their soul out through a copper wire circuit.

46. Beautiful crystal chalice filled with horribly stinking, maggot-ridden fermented goblin fat.

47. Stuffed human body, naked and exposing huge genitalia, apparently transplanted from some beast.

48. Potion of healing with lots of fishing hooks inside it.

49. Hourglass full of living maggots.

50. Cuckoo clock constantly striking hours. Rotting human cock is placed instead of a cuckoo.

51. Huge wooden spoon, about three meters long.
52. Marble pedestal with one-meter eye resting on its top. The eye is real one.

53. Ornate chest full of rotten fish.

54. Bear trap with rusty spring.

55. Huge tome titled Guide to Hemorroid Collecting

56. A small pendant on a necklace, it looks like a warding stone but attracts instead wards

57. A small vial containing a fireball, closer inspection shows that it's actually a vial with a containment spell on it and that the fireball is a fire elemental

58. Plain sewn leather sack full of viscous, mossy gel and tiny bones.

59. Merit badge and walkie-talkie with your name on them in marker from Camp Crystal Lake,
with an invitation to return next summer.

60. Used diaper, full of tiny gold coins.

61. Duck-shaped helmet (not duck head, whole duck!).

62. A seam on your leg, with one end slightly raised and a thread loose.

63. A small box containing the last breath of a old man

64.  A large sphere containing the last laugh of a young woman.

65.  a cup of Joe.

66. The blueprints for a clockwork antelope on 175 pages of bound vellum, written in a language the translation for which is stored in some cursed subterranean library.

67.  A tiny vial, carefully packaged in down feathers and preserved vine-leaves. Contains distilled nymph tears and acts as a fairytale love potion.

68.  A delicate dagger blade of yellow glass

69.  The boots and coat of a mythological cartographer.

70.  A pair of quartz dice that no sinner can resist.

71.  A red leather diary describing the tragic and wonderful life of an adventurer. All names have been magically removed, leaving clean paper and underlines like a 'fill in the blanks' game.

72. A bottle of perfume with atomizer. Will trigger powerful random memory in anyone smelling it, after which they will be unable to concentrate on anything else for 24 hours.
Memory relates to...
1. The giddy heights of first love
2. shame and embarrassment
3. righteous indignation
4. existential dread
5. irretrievable loss
6. confusion and bewilderment
7. all-consuming lust
8. visceral disgust
9. personal triumph
10. physical danger

73. A set of Hello Kitty canopic jars, with preserved organs. Jars can be carbon-dated to the early 18th Dynasty.

74. A carton of eggs, but when cracked it is full of human blood

75. Written instructions for closing a gate, it's written in "l33t speak"

76. A picture of a naked man and woman on a piece of parchment

77. A magical book, it can only be read when using your peripheral vision, otherwise it's in a undecypherable text

78. d100 wax packs (with bubblegum) of Deros Attack! trading cards. Art by Victor Moscoso, S. Clay Wilson, R. Crumb, Spain Rodriguez, and other underground comix luminaries. 

79. Skeleton of a 20' giant ground sloth with brass fittings at every joint. Next to a jeweled panel on a podium covered in cobwebs.

80. Bronze backscatcher w/ Mycenaean lion-hunting scene on handle. 4-fingered "hand" on the end has long, hooked claws, as though made to scratch under scales.

81. lingam-shaped lodestone in lapis lazuli.locket lined with linen.

82. The sick bed of Cuchulain -- 25% chance of Warp Spasm if sleeping in it overnight.

83.  Pith helmet painted red and covered in pieces of broken mirror.
84. Hangman hammock, you sleep like the dead, ever hours rest is worth two hours. Con check is required to get out, otherwise death and death-like symptoms occur

85.  Small leatherbound volume which contains a completely accurate and exhaustively intimate biography of the last person to possess it for 48 hours. Helpfully indexed.

86.  A tiny set of golden horns suitable to be worn by a cat or small dog. They do 1d4 damage.

87. Set of high heels rumored to belong to Lux Interior. The wearer gains a +2 to damage and attack while fighting zombies.

88. A wishing ring, all the wishes have been used

89.  A box with an ornate gold filigree on it in the shape a smaller box, opening the golden box requires a wisdom check and 1 pint of blood, inside is a bone finger dipped in gold

90.  Animated suit of bronze armor reminiscent of the Dendra Panoply. Will fight valiantly on owner's behalf until destroyed or commanded to stand down. Detailed activation/shutdown instructions engraved in Linear B on the back.

91.  A monkey butler named Jasper. Will understand and follow simple commands. (fetch me a scotch on the rocks, get my sword, get me a plate of gruel, etc.) Wears a tiny butler's suit and white shoes. Wears a monocle on his left eye. Smokes a pipe and speaks common with the elocution of a Shakespearean actor. Has an irrational hatred of Paladins, and Bards. Will attack them on sight as if he is a 4th level fighting man Monkey. Does not like bananas.

92.  A double headed coin (both sides are heads)

93.  A scrap of paper with numbers on it, the numbers change when ever in the vacinety of different people. The numbers are the social security numbers of that persons enemy

94.  Hip flask with a tiny bezoar stuck inside. Will neutralize all poisonous effects of any liquid poured into it.

95. A wax sealed stonework jug of fearsome black wine.

96.   A skeletal owl who answers 3 rhetorical questions.

97.  A beautiful woven twine neckpiece last worn by a queen.

98.  A jar of the most delicious spices this side of the moon.

99.  a frog in a frog in a frog in a frog in a purse made out of toad

100.  A box containing:
A pouch containing the crushed remains of your enemy
A small box with the lamentation of your enemys women
A vial containing those women's tears

man the hive mind of G+ is awesome

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